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sorrow because of itself

Forgive me Father…

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Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 8 long weeks since my last post…!

FATHER: Well, I’m sure there is a very good explanation for your lapse in whining. Care to share that with us?

ED: Err, too busy with other things..? can’t be arsed..? generally just been lazy..? 

..This is not doing it for you, is it?

How ’bout this then…

It would appear that my eyesight is failing me after many years of excellent service. As a kid and with aspirations of being a pilot, my parents would routinely (every six months) have my eyes tested to ensure I retained what was thought to be 20:20 vision. In our family of 8, all but my sister and I wear glasses!

A few years ago I began to notice what seemed to be an inability to quickly focus on small or very near text. For example, reading the manufacturers details printed on the reverse of a jam jar or the washing instructions printed on the inside of a clothes label proved difficult when done quickly. Given a few moments, I would squint or refocus and be able to see the text clearly.

Over time, my ability to focus quickly at these short distances or small text, took longer and longer until eventually the only solution was to put the object further away. A visit to the optometrist was called for!

“Nothing to worry about, you’re just getting old…!” said the highly intelligent and educated man sadly lacking in social etiquette and human kindness. It would appear not unlike an elastic band that every time we change focus from near sight to far sight and/or visa versa, little muscles behind our eyes are called into action. Over time and with age these little muscles loose their elasticity and can no longer return the eye to its shortest or nearest of focus. In essence we initially struggle to achieve near sight quickly and finally we loose it all together.

Its arguable that long periods of time at a constant focal length (like staring at a TV or PC monitor for hours on end) hasten the degeneration of the ‘elasticity’ spoken of earlier.

So to cut an otherwise very long story short, my work involves a LOT of time staring at a PC monitor and the last thing I want to be doing with my spare time is to be ‘starring at a PC monitor’ whilst transcribing my whining. The end result is (the same amount of whining but) less posting…

ED: Convinced yet..?

FATHER: 3 Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Father’s – See you next week!

[Conversation ended abruptly and without genuine sentiment]
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