Author Archive

Leaf Blowers – Australia’s New Phallic Symbol

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

Love them or hate them, there is no denying that the once humble leaf blower has now taken root in the Australian male psychic and is every bit as important to him as is his phallus.

The definition of a phallic symbol is “any object, such as a cigar or skyscraper, that may broadly resemble or represent the penis, especially an object that symbolizes power, like an automobile”.

Cue our leaf blower…

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Warning – Speed Camera In Use!

Monday, July 9th, 2012

Here’s a curiosity that’s baffled me ever since I first set eyes on it a few years back.

Queensland Police Speed Camera in useThe  (Australian) Queensland Police have the peculiar habit of displaying this little sign next to their police van, whenever they are in the process of using a speed camera!

The message is pretty clear and unambiguous,

SPEED CAMERA IN USE

but what it’s supposed to achieve is what really baffles me.

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Win, Win, …It’s Another Facebook Competition

Friday, June 15th, 2012

Facebook competitions have been around since time immortal, but does anybody actually win..?

Click and WIN with facebook and MemoryClouds

Click on the above image and then ‘like’ it to WIN!

 

Well, now’s your chance to find out!

 

Boutique Markets in conjunction with facebook, is running a little competition to find the next stall holder for their prestigious market.

The five finalists in the Ready To Retail competition have each displayed their wares on the Boutique Markets facebook page and the finalist with the most likes… wins!

That makes ONE winner, but what about YOU?

Well, pop on over to the competition and just ‘like’ this image… and perhaps you too could WIN (and that makes TWO).

So its a classic win-win situation for both You and I.

 

Click here for your chance to WIN

 

Good Luck.

Reversing Without Using Mirrors

Saturday, May 19th, 2012

Reversing without using your mirrorsIt’s a simple enough question. Do you reverse your car without using the mirrors and if so, why?

I am of course assuming you have mirrors on your car and have just chosen to not use them.

There are instances when one can reverse a car without the necessity to use the rear view or side mirrors (like being in the middle of an empty football field or being the last person alive on earth), but none of them are relevant to this question.

You can see where I’m going with this…

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I Do Not Suffer Fools Gladly

Sunday, April 29th, 2012

Everyone has some form or another of an Achilles heel and mine is I don’t suffer fools gladly. Some might say this is a good thing but I happen to disagree and here’s why.

I don not suffer fools gladly
The full or given meaning to the phrase is well documented both in the bible (2 Corinthians 11:19) and on the internet (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suffer_fools_gladly) but without real life examples. Based on this literature alone I too would consider the suffering of a fool to be unacceptable.

In simple English it is “the foolish actions of one, causing the suffering in others”.

Let me give you an example:

Your regular footy game and the team is going for the win. Everybody is pulling their weight and doing their best except for one player. He is your typical court jester and makes everybody on and off the field laugh and in fact, generally makes the game fun for all.

Suddenly the run of play goes right to where the ‘court jester’ is and just as he is mi-larking about, the opposition slips through and scores!

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Satellite Tracking For Your Pets

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

24 Hours ago our family pet, a Seal Pointed Birman cat went missing. Besides all the frantic activities being done to try and find him, there is also a fair share of finger pointing and incrimination but I’m thinking… “What can we do to prevent this happening again?“.

Satellite Tracking for Pets

The answer that springs to mind is…

Fit A Satellite Tracking Device
To The Cat

Now I don’t mean something akin to what you see on TV on those wildlife documentaries from Sir David Attenborough or his peers. It would look a bit silly with one of those huge radio collars fitted around the neck of such a small pet, and besides that technology is a bit rustic to say the least.

No, I’m going for something we already have. A technology that is in everybody’s hands, literally.

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The 84th Annual Academy Awards ‘Oscars’ Are Plastic

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Yup… last night there was no hiding the truth, the 84th Annual Academy Award Oscars are most definitely plastic! They were on stage and in the audience, plain for all to see.
The Oscars Are Plastic

The 84th Annual Academy Award ‘Oscars’
Are Plastic

The little gilded statuette affectionately known as Oscar to it’s recipients and the world at large, was once again on full display with an estimated global audience of 6 billion watching proceedings.

So to were the larger and more ‘life-like’ statues of the stars and celebrities, each having his or her turn on the global stage where for a brief moment plastic and gold stood hand in hand.

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Kevin Rudd, The ALP’s Grandmaster

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

Today yielded another fine move from Kevin Rudd, the Australian Labor Party’s (ALP) Grandmaster in his ‘chess’ game with fledgeling chess Master, Prime Minister Julia Gillard.

Kevin Rudd, The ALP's GrandmasterThe Kevin Rudd
vs
Prime Minister Julia Gillard
chess match hots up!

The game’s being going on for months now with neither side giving away it’s strategy but all that has now changed with Kevin Rudd’s announcement last night.

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Poor Fat People

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

I know this is a terribly bigoted thing to say but…

Poor Fat People

Have You Ever Noticed How Most Fat People Seem To Be From The Lower Socio Economic Class?

Last weekend the wife and I began our Christmas shopping with a visit to the Shopping Mall. The wife shopped and I sat and ‘people watched’ and this is what I saw!

First, let me impartially set the scene for you…

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Use Pornography To Promote Your Business

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Use Pornography To Promote Your Business

The old adage ‘Sex Sells’ is as true today as it was when first mooted by Ad men back in the 1950’s.

The advertising medium and technologies used may have changed but the market place is still driven by people and their desires, and those desires haven’t changed in millennia – and I doubt they’ll be changing any time soon.

So, a predictable future… that’s got to present a good business opportunity, hasn’t it?

Absolutely! From a marketing standpoint, if we can be assured that ‘sex sells’ then all we need to do is assimilate our product with something sexy and voilà, your product will sell.

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